Healing Oneself Before Expecting It From the Partner

We all carry traumas from the past, childhood conditioning, or unresolved pain from previous relationships. These wounds, when unhealed, silently and most of the times subconsciously surface into the present, in the form of triggers and our reactive outbursts. Have you ever snapped at your partner over something irrelevant, only to realize later that it wasn’t about them but how the topic triggered an old scar or unpleasant experience?

Healing begins with awareness. Find a quiet spot, sit with yourself and reflect. Journal your trigger points and reactions. Acknowledge the fact that change begins with ‘us’.. What is it that makes you feel insecure? Is it lack of self worth? Do the betrayals from the past make you doubt your current partner’s love? Are childhood experiences making you fear abandonment? Healing is not about erasing the past but dealing with it once and for all. Do not play the movie in parts and most certainly not over and over again. Run through it once and for all, for that one last time and make note of the unpleasant experiences, forgive yourself and the ones responsible for them. There may be a lesson to learn or none at all but decide on that too and live happily and with renewed faith in what the present has to offer. Remember, expecting a supporting partner is one thing and being in a constant state of misery, in turn creating new unpleasant experiences for you and your partner is a vicious circle which leads to a toxic environment. After all one can be helped only if they seek help